Something Equally Stupid
by Laelwen
Summary: During his next battle with Metroman, Megamind has a hard time repaying a debt while preserving an evil reputation.


**A/N**

All credit for creating Megamind goes to Dreamworks. The rest of the credit for inspiring this story goes to RedHatMeg's story "Take my hand", without which this idea would never have come to be.

Inspired by RedHatMeg's "Take My Hand". The next battle between Metroman and Megamind. Pre-movie.

**Something Equally Stupid**

It was a fine Wednesday morning. In the park, the twittering of birds sounded in the trees. The azure sky was flecked by clouds, white sheep that occasionally blocked the sun. Children laughed and chased one-another, their faces red with the effort, while their parents sat chatting on benches watching them. A group of seven pre-schoolers sat near the edge of the lake making necklaces from daisies. It was, in all, a peaceful scene. The blue skinned alien watching the scene from an invisible car decided that it was one in which he would take much pleasure in destroying.

"Code: Show time!" he shouted.

"Code: Okay," replied his fish-headed sidekick, who obediently switched a flick.

Black smoke began to fume, hissing as it obscured the pleasant scene. The sound of heavy-metal music filled the air, its tell-tale notes warning the citizens of Metro City exactly who was responsible for this assault.

"Mwahahahaha," laughed the large image of Megamind, being projected by brainbots onto a large public building.

"Megamind!" screamed the populace.

"Megamind!" shouted a very familiar muscular man in an equally familiar white suite.

"Me!" agreed the blue-faced alien, pointing black leather gloves at himself.

As at this point everyone seemed somewhat dumbstruck, Megamind took it upon himself to break the ensuing silence.

"Despite the humiliating end to our last encounter," he began, launching seamlessly into yet another monologue, "I have once again escaped. Metrosity will be mine! You see, I have invented a plot of such diabolic heinousness that even you will succumb to it."

"It's Metro City," interrupted the resident hero, usurping the dramatic pause.

The interruption was ignored.

"Unless you leave Metrosity, never to return," Megamind continued, practically crowing with delight "It will be the end of ROXANNE RITCHI!"

Nothing happened. Megamind's forehead furrowed as gloating changed to resignation. "Minion. Code: Switch to Roxanne."

Then the image changed to one of the famous reporter, tied and being held aloft by brainbots above the city.

"Unless you want to Miss Ritchi to fall to a sad, sad death, I suggest you promise to leave Metrocity once and for all!"

"Don't panic Roxi," said Metroman.

"Not panicking," she said, once more proving her unworthiness for the position of damsel in distress her supposed relationship with Metroman entitled her to fill.

"I'll give you 10 seconds to decide," said Megamind dramatically, "But as soon as I press this button, she will be dropped!" The projected image of Megamind now showed one gloved finger hovering above a sinister red button. Then it switched across to Roxanne hanging suspended once more.

"I'm above the west-end district," said the damsel prosaically.

Metroman vanished, flying swiftly in the specified direction.

Dimly, even as he hastily changed the screen and shouted "No she's not!" it occurred to him that this willingness to travel wherever the reporter believed herself to be could be useful for future plots.

Ah well, he thought, time to implement plot part two. However, seven seconds, twenty dodged nets and forty redirected missiles later even Megamind could see that the plan was in shambles. No-one was more familiar with the way a proper hero vs villain battle should turn out than he. He had even considered writing a guide on the topic. So naturally he pressed the red button. And once more Metroman was given the opportunity to save Roxanne from falling to an unpleasant death.

Megamind had already left the invisible car, with instructions to Minion to drive it to the evil lair, and was now inside his robot-suit, which had been conveniently hidden behind a large bush.

It was then, just as Roxanne was being saved, that things began to go horribly wrong. Happening to glance left, with the added advantage of height, he became aware that in the lake was a young boy who appeared to be drowning. He was one of the daisy-stringers, perhaps dragged along by an unrelenting sister. And, concealed by the high banks it was unlikely that he would be noticed until too late. Already his head was going under. Megamind had no idea at all of how long he had been there. Had he panicked when the smoke started, and run in the wrong direction?

His brow contracted once more. How to preserve his evilness while causing as few deaths, barring his arch-nemesis' as possible? Not that he actually cared, he reassured himself. But civilian deaths were not in the unwritten code of how the game should be played. And he recalled from less than a week ago his words to Metroman. Something equally as stupid. He would be repaying that debt.

The citizens of Metro City were scared when the giant robot stepped forwards. Then, impossibly, the metallic foot caught on a hidden root. Or at least, that was the assumption most made because, as everyone knew, there was no way the thing could have deliberately tripped. Straight into the lake on just the right angle to send the water splashing up in a wave. Along with one coughing, struggling body.

"Argh, unreliable machine!" cursed the projected image of the blue alien, and with a struggle the robot rose once more. It moved to stand in the centre of the park to where a white figure rapidly zoomed after relieving himself of his fair burden on the edge of the grass to cover the event. Behind the two a mother rushed forwards and scooped her child up, sobbing hysterically as she did so, and carried the boy out of the danger zone.

"Come to face defeat at last?" mocked Megamind.

"The only person who will be defeated in this encounter is you, villain," replied Metroman.

"Large words for so small a brain."

"It matters not how large one's mind is if it is used for evil."

"But a large mind will always triumph over a small one."

"In the service of good, even the weakest instrument triumphs over the strongest weapon of evil."

"But good and evil are matters of perspective, something which can be differentiated only by the mind."

"Guys, please, can you get a move on with this so I can go home?" shouted a feminine voice from the side, causing both to turn around abruptly.

Roxanne stood there, tired but determined, and Megamind had the fleeting thought that she was rather pretty when she tried to be bossy. But then the fight started, or more accurately, tried to.

The robot went to step forwards, but even as it did so it froze, malfunctioning. Mud spurted out of its joints and once more it fell back, this time onto the grass. Megamind's fist smashed into the eject button just in time, and he flew through the air, wincing slightly as he braced for the collision between his body and the ground. Behind him the robot exploded.

He really needed to perfect that prototype. And keep it out of the mud. But at least he had preserved his evil reputation. No one, not even the kid, would know that the super-villain had saved his life.

With a thud he landed on the grassy slope, rolled a couple of times and finally smashed into a rubbish bin. Moments later the dazed alien felt himself being lifted up by his collar.

He roused himself to shout some random last minute promise, a threat of revenge, before he was bound and thrown into the back of the police van. Back to jail. Again.

As he fell asleep he decided that he would never allow himself to be saved by Metroman again. The payback was simply too potentially damaging to his reputation. Not to mention his inventions and body.


End file.
